Zoe is here!

Our beautiful baby girl arrived in dramatic fashion on Monday night. We are so so happy to have her with us. Here's how her birthday progressed until she arrived....

I woke up with a few hours of contractions beginning around 345am. These contractions were noticeable but not too painful and about 10-13 minutes apart. So we knew we had a little time.

As I took a bath I started to hear over and over again in my head "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!" Later I opened my bible to the EXACT page where that psalm was to be found: Psalm 118:24. I knew God had plans for our day and that my job was to be glad and to trust Him.

Around 930am the contractions had all but disappeared. So I told Bill he should go to work and we'd just see how the day progressed. Mid-day I felt a lot of cramping and pressure but no real contractions anymore. Krissy gave me a good word that continual progress toward birth didn't mean consistent and she felt that God knew exactly how my body needed to prepare. Ok great!

430pm - I call Bill and tell him to come home: contractions back and definitely real.

530pm - I start timing them and quickly jump from 10 minutes apart to 6-7 min apart.

6pm - Call doctor and she tells us to go ahead and get to the hospital.

7pm - Pull into Christ Hospital and contractions are now 4-5 minutes apart and gettin' rough.

730pm - We get assigned a room and are still in our own clothes. I'm getting anxious because I know how the processes work (get changed, answer questions, get an IV, get checked, call doctor, etc) but something inside tells me that it isn't going to go that way. Contractions are VERY big and hard now and maybe 2 minutes apart at most. I'm hurtin' right now. Lots.

745pm - Nurse finally checks me for the first time and reports that I'm a "good 8cm" and everyone goes into higher gear. They're firing questions at us, Bill is answering for me because I can't focus on anything at this point. Nurse calls doctor AT HOME to come in for the birth. We all know there's no way she'll make it.

I start saying/yelling "I feel the baby" "This baby's head is right there." "I have to push" - stuff like that. And I'm wondering if anyone believes me! The Resident on call shows up and tells me she's going to "catch my baby" since my doctor isn't here.

I think I scream a couple times at this point and Zoe is pushing her own way out now...I just need to get on board. Which I wasn't entirely...but really had no choice!

Irony here? We had decided we'd go ahead and have another epidural for this birth. A while ago the discussion about going natural had surfaced. I had seriously believed that perhaps God had that in mind for this birth. However, Bill and I had never reached that decision together and we agreed again in the car that we'd go ahead and get an epidural. I now know that God had other plans.

One of the beautiful things about this fast and hard birth was that I realized the ONLY person that comforted me in any way was Bill. I got scared when I realized what was going to happen. And through every contraction and every second I could have cared less about the doctor -- I just wanted Bill. He was my only comfort.

And so out came our baby girl at 756pm right in the midst of all this. She wanted out. She wanted life. NOW. And so she came.

I was stunned, amazed, grateful it was over so fast, speechless at the circumstances....I just kept staring at her in wonderment that she was already on my chest. I kept asking Bill what had just happened and we were both just speechless in amazement. We've talked it over again and again and still can't quite figure out what happened those last 15 minutes.

I guess God had a plan for this day. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Our baby girl Zoe Elaine (which means "life and light") was born at 8lbs 4oz, 21 inches long at 756pm with no OB doc in the room. Just perfect for all of us.

We didn't name her until about 20 minutes after she was born. Bill and I both felt strongly that this was her name and hoping the other agreed. We believe our unity around her name was endorsement from God that it's the right one for her! So welcome our little bundle of life and light with us - and rejoice!

Egg McMuffin Love

My husband really is amazing. Last night I happened to mention off-hand that it had been forever since I'd eaten an Egg McMuffin. It just sounded good. This morning he came downstairs dressed and said he'd be back in 10 minutes. He returned with an Egg McMuffin for me. He does these little things that make me grateful and amazed at the little ways he loves me. Egg McMuffins are a sure sign of love.

I couldn't resist taking a few bites before I took the picture! Mmmmmm.

Last Family-of-4 Photo

I think it's nice to record some family history along the way...so here is what I imagine will be our last picture as a family of four. This was taken on Saturday January 2, 2010.

We've had a great holiday time and glad we've made it through the new year, taken down the decorations and done all the final preparations for our daughter to arrive. Now we are just waiting for her to come and meet us! We love her already. Every day Andrew gives her hugs and kisses and tells her to come and see us. Luke isn't as sure....sometimes it's yes and sometimes he says "not right now!"

Today I spent the day organizing: disassembling the diaper cake from my party, putting new toys away, throwing away old things, putting boys clothes in storage containers and even a trip to IKEA for some storage units that I'm sure won't get put together for another few weeks. Maybe Papa will do it when he comes! But I just need all those final little things to be in place. Now! :-)

A promise for us.

I ran across this verse in Isaiah a few months ago and have felt the past 2 weeks that God has really put it on my heart to memorize and keep these as a promise for the delivery of our baby.

Isaiah 66:9
"Do I bring to the moment of birth
and not give delivery?" says the LORD.
"Do I close up the womb
when I bring to delivery?" says your God.

We have had beautiful experiences delivering both of our babies. But I would definitely say that the pushing-phase of delivery has been frustrating and difficult for both. Both pushing experiences have lasted approximately 2 hours (Andrew a little less, Luke a little more) with Luke being face-up and very difficult to get out.

So anyway.... I think that God wants me to just believe that He is the One Who Delivers these babies. And it's in His time and His way.
Agree with us on this and please pray that we would just trust Him to bring our baby girl out when the moment is right...no excessive "trying," no frustration...just patience and trust.

The wisdom in Proverbs

I'd read the book of Proverbs several times in the past and many times gone searching there for specific understanding...but never has Proverbs spoken to me so deeply as in the past couple months. I'm on my second straight pass through it - a chapter a day with a weekly memory verse.
I can't explain this except to say that different scripture just comes alive at different times based upon what God is interested in saying to me (or us). I think He is desiring a building up and deeper understanding of His wisdom at the present time.

I couldn't help but be struck by all the commands in Proverbs to "keep his knowledge in your heart" "carry his commands with you" and to have access to this knowledge at all times. So I've decided that absolutely means committing it to memory and having it just written on my heart. This way God can dig it up and speak it back to me whenever he wants to.

So if you're reading this, I'd encourage to be reading and memorizing some Proverbs that speak to you. Here are mine of late:

Proverbs 3:25-26 "Have no fear of sudden disaster or the ruin that overtakes the wicked. For the Lord is your confidence and He will keep your foot from being snared."

Proverbs 6:23 "For these commands are a lamp and this teaching a light and the corrections of discipline are the way to life."

Proverbs 16:32 "Better to be patient than powerful and better to have self-control than to conquer a city."

Proverbs 21:21 "He who pursues righteousness and love will find life, prosperity and honor."

Proverbs 28:13 "He who conceals his sins will not prosper but he who confesses and renounces them will find mercy."

Tuesdays

Has it really been 30 more days in my pregnancy that have gone by? I can't believe it. Anyway - next post was going to be about Tuesdays....

On Tuesdays we have "friend time." It goes like this: we say a prayer and talk about which friend is coming to our minds. Sometimes Andrew and I agree on one friend and sometimes we each do a different friend. Then, we decide what to do to LOVE THEM. We ask Jesus how we might be able to love them today. And then we do it. And we follow it through until it's finished. Here are a few that we've done:

• Baked our favorite neighbor some cinnamon muffins and hand-delivered them. Warm.
• Painted pictures with stickers for Uncle John and Matt, written them a note about why we love them and taken it straight to the post office.
• Gone to the store, bought a little outfit for our friend's new baby boy and taken it over.
• Painted pictures for our friend/neighbor girl and on each page we wrote a word that reminds us of her "Loving" "Fashionable" "Sweet" "Gentle" - stuff like that.
• Fulfilled a commitment to a friend that I'd long ago needed to follow through on.
• Baked cookies to say thank-you to someone who was good to us.
• Made up a Halloween treat bag for someone that mommy doesn't really like and talked about how Jesus says that we return good to someone even when they treat us poorly. And how that changes our heart toward them. And it has.

This has been really fun for us to do together. It's gotten us thinking of other people. It's been a way that I can teach my boys how to actively love someone.

I've noticed that there is often resistance inside me to this... lack of desire to follow-through, thoughts that come into my mind that I'm just trying to be a "do-gooder" and this doesn't mean anything and just general apathy sometimes. But these, of course, are lies. Lies I believe are meant to keep us from doing these tiny things to change our own hearts, practice love and plant seeds of it in the lives of others.

Tuesdays are cool.

Livin' each day

I started titling this entry but couldn't come up with the right words...so whatever it says now I came up with after I got out my thoughts...

About 6 weeks ago I wrote out a weekday schedule for me and the boys. I explained to them that schedules could be changed but that they were there to keep up focused on what we think is most important to do during our days. Here's Monday for an example:

Monday:

930am Learning Time

1030am Music Class

1130am Lunch and play

130pm Naps

330pm See a friend or run errands

I realized this is important for me and the boys for 2 main reasons:

1) Sanity.

2) Putting my values into action

Sanity. Important. I need some structure. I get very down when I wake up every morning thinking 'what the hell am I going to do all day long?' Even if its a simple outline of a plan, it helps my mental state. It also lets the boys know "there is something bigger going on in this house than what you want at any given moment." Now I also change things sometimes and Andrew is beginning to understand that sometimes we have opportunities that are absolutely worth throwing the schedule out the window in order to pursue. And we do. But that's the exception.

Putting my values into action.... Here's what I mean. I realized that there is a list of things I place value on for me and my kids. Many of these were flying under my radar. If they didn't happen, I'd get restless or irritated. It was important to get this stuff out on a piece of paper so I could talk to Bill and we could say "yes that is important" or "no - let that one go...not now." Here are a few in no particular order:

1) Loving our friends in action

2) Playing outside

3) Learning how to swim

4) Being in environments around other children

5) Learning to read and loving books

6) Having experiences together- getting out and about to see new things

7) Mom getting to exercise regularly

8) Cooking meals and keeping our home running smoothly

9) Having unstructured time (irony? I think so) to play together as brothers

So I listed out what these were and they have found their way into our schedule in a structured way. This is to make sure that I am acutally living out what I think is important in how I spend our time together and how I prioritize what happens each day. It's helped me to paint a picture of my week with purpose. This way I don't lose sight of why I stay home with them and what all these small things are really about. Otherwise when I'm chasing Luke around while Andrew is in his swim lesson, I could start to think it's not all worth it. And then I remember - "oh yeah -- it's really important to me that he learns how to swim at a young age...so it's worth a sacrifice for Luke for 30 minutes."

In my next entry I am going to tell you about what we do on Tuesdays. It's fast become my favorite thing. And it's definitely come under some resistance (not from the kids -- from me!). But it's my favorite. More to come on that.

I've never had trouble adopting discipline or routine. But the longer I stay home with little ones who aren't yet in school, the more I realize that it's ME who needs to infuse the structure into our days according to what Bill and I value for our family. Livin' out what we think is important each day - even if it's super simple.