God is stirring

I feel like something is brewing in me. I think God is stirring up dreams. I have this feeling inside that I can only describe as "bigness" that is dying to come out. It's the knowledge that I'm destined for something great - something huge, wonderful and special. Something that God has carved out just for me.
The last 2 days I've been thinking about 2 particular dreams I have: to work with prisoners and to offer grace and restoration to women who have had abortions. Now I have never been in prison and never had an abortion...so sometimes I wonder; why these? But nevertheless, I must confess - especially the prisoner dream is heavy on my heart right now. I began searching around online trying to find someone or something that is close to this dream that maybe I could "join" or at least join-in-with. So far: no luck. Could it be that God is stirring up something unique in me?
I think about all the "givens" in my life: the absolutes - the things that I am committed to with my whole heart and they begin to sound like barriers to other dreams coming true. I repent of believing the lie that God cannot, will not or doesn't want to do something glorious, beautiful, big, unique and earth-shattering with my life and my dreams.
What I mean by givens is this: I am married and 100% committed first and foremost to my husband: to respecting him, loving him and serving him. I have 2 children: Andrew and Luke. I am committed to be a mother. I am only beginning to discover all the things that really means. And it changes all the time. Sometimes I'm tempted to believe that this dream of motherhood (a dream that God placed in me, I believe) is the only dream I am allotted for my life. And that I'm selfish or broken or restless if I have any other dreams. I'm sick of second-guessing this so until further notice by God: I reject this thinking and say that God has LOTS of dreams for me and being a mother and these dreams are NOT mutually exclusive.

"God I want your dreams to come true in me. I submit my life to you bringing your dreams to life in me." The dreams of God probably look a lot like: friendship, love, grace, compassion, renewal, restoration, reconciliation and forgiveness. I hope He is continually deepening in me the desire to live these dreams out for my family, my friends, my community and all the people chosen by God at the foundations of the earth.

I care deeply about people receiving freedom from grace. Freedom from their pasts. Freedom from shame. Freedom from the version of themselves that Satan has encouraged them to buy into for years or for a whole lifetime. I believe it is never to late to free someone from these things. This is my dream. And I love being a mom so I care about mothers receiving freedom from children they rejected and I care deeply about prisoners receiving freedom from the shame and patterns that have defined their lives and landed them in jail. I know what it feels like to be in the jail of shame; to have your real self, your life, your relationships and every moment of your day defined by an all-encompassing, devastating shame. I don't want anyone spending one more minute being shut down by shame. And I'm guessing that the Lord put in me to care for mothers and prisoners because there's a whole lot of shame in the choices of a mother who has had an abortion and a prisoner who's had to make at least one choice they're ashamed of. We can be done paying for our sins with shame. That's a currency that's unacceptable to God. Shame is bullshit. The only thing that God accepts for currency for our sin is His Son Jesus. The Good News is that He is alive and we can hide in Him and find rest, peace and a shame-free, Godly existence... no matter what our past. Now THAT'S some good news worth sharing.
And I want all the moms and prisoners that the Lord puts on my heart to know that there is a new version of them waiting - a free one, a good one, a pure one, a loving/loveable/loved one and especially one that is totally and completely freed from the shame of their past mistakes.