"Obey the circumstances"

Today I was thinking of this idea as I was doing my hair. My hair is kind-of wavy and kind-of straight. The 'kind-of' part often depends on the shampoo, amount of conditioner, type of mousse, distance from the last hair-cut or even the weather. I would venture to say that my hair never looks the same way twice. And today was particularly bad... I got tossed the curve-ball of frizz. So here I am drying my hair and thinking to myself...I can either battle my hair with a flat-iron or I can just go with it: puffy and frizzy. "Obey the circumstances," I heard.

I first encountered that phrase when someone recounted the strategy of Napoleon and how he conquered so many territories. I guess he said he simply "obeyed the circumstances" instead of fighting against them. I suppose by that he meant the condition of his armies, the training and strengths of his commanders, the position and mindset of the enemy. Probably even his own ability to motivate and lead at any given point. Obeying the circumstances probably meant never getting married to any battle plan too far ahead of the battle.

So, for me this morning, that meant going for the puff and wave. No fighting with the flat-iron (did I unplug it?).

I felt instantly that God jumped on the back of this thought of mine and said "yes - that's how you deal with my Spirit." Consider the position of the enemy, honestly evaluate your own condition and just give to me what you have at the moment. And obey the spiritual circumstances.... don't control them, don't manipulate them and don't waste time trying to change things that you can't change...just consult me moment-by-moment for the game plan. And, most importantly, follow me. Obey the circumstances you have in front of you.

For me this phrase encompasses so many spiritual ideas and learnings that I have had in trying to follow Jesus in a clumsy day-by-day way. I have felt a lot of frustration lately because sometimes I wonder what I'm doing all holed-up here in my house with my 2 year old and breastfeeding a newborn baby. And I forget to obey my own circumstances. The simple truth is that I cannot commit to very many things absolutely, I don't see very many people and I have only small windows of time alone. And those don't even come every day. My former way of relating to God and relating to my community just hasn't worked as well lately. I have forgotten to obey my circumstances.

I'm still learning what this looks like right now... for sure it means being spontaneous - grabbing solitude where it's available, grabbing play-dates when they're available and being vigilant about searching for ways to be in community. My days are like my hair: they look different every day. It's forced me to drop the identity of being the "flexible friend" - the one who can always come to you, never imposes, never asks for anything. And instead it's teaching me about a piece of real friendship I've never been very good at: saying what I really need and receiving more from others.

I have a God-story about my hair that I'll write some other time. In the past it's been a big part of how I defined my femininity and a source of pain. Seriously. But today -- I suppose God is even redeeming that... the time I spent blow-drying my hair was enough to have a conversation with him about Napoleon, the Holy Spirit, friendship and frizz. As David Valentine would say "sweet, yo."