As I've mulled over the gardening experience I did (or rather did NOT) have this year, I've come to realize something that I think God has now taught me... I don't inherently possess faithfulness. Faithfulness - I mean GOD'S kind of faithfulness - must be instilled in us through our relationship to him. Let me explain.
The garden began pretty well - decent seedlings that got planted in the ground, tomato plants that looked promising, etc... but as I surveyed the rest of the gardening process, I realized that I just simply lacked faithfulness to follow it through to the end. Here were some not-so-subtle examples:
I bought the stakes to put around the tomato plants, but never cut and actually used them.
I never fertilized even when I knew it would benefit the plants.
I didn't use the compost pile that was in my back woods to nourish them.
I did water but in a pretty disinterested way -- turn on the sprinkler, hope it gets them wet.
I had Irish Spring soap to cut up and sprinkle (to fend off the deer) but never used it so they ate the stalks of corn that grew.
I'm sure there are more but you're getting the picture. I just didn't care that much. I wasn't very faithful to my garden. And I'll tell you why: I'm not faithful on my own. I don't have it in me.
I began thinking about faithfulness. Jesus actually says that if we are faithful with a little, we'll be given much more. I was considering what I attempted with my garden as fairly modest/small, but actually - it was big. At least for me in an area where faithfulness hasn't grown.
Small would have been more appropriate for me. One or two tomato plants, perhaps. The thought of nurturing a whole garden was simply too much for me.
It's God's plan to build faithfulness for our sake. If we are faithful with something small, then we will learn to be faithful with bigger things. If we see the fruit in something small, we will be motivated to be faithful and believe in the fruit of bigger things to come.
I was thinking and thinking of that scripture and suddenly realized that I'd always viewed it as a test. "If you do this good and prove yourself, then I can give you more" says God. NO! God isn't testing my performance...he's growing my faithfulness. He can get the results without me, but He'd like my heart to grow more like His in the process.
I was feeling bummed about even the possibility of attempting another garden next year...just not very interested and wondering why God would tell me (which I KNEW He DID) to start a garden when I clearly sucked at it and barely liked it.
Now that I see my garden can shrink to the size of one potted tomato plant, I'm a little more willing. And I bet it yields more than the 20 green, inedible tomatos I got this year.
If we are faithful with a little, we'll be given a lot. Not because we've proven ourselves in a test of a capricious, judgmental God but because we've grown faithfulness and our hearts are looking more like His.
One or two tomato plants: I think I can handle that. I think.
(PS - that picture is what I hope to see next year: not one of my actual plants!)
2 comments:
Hmmmm... such good truths packed in to this post friend. And you've inspired me to seek Him in this way... through one plant.
I just listened to a very interesting teaching on faithfulness. I'll have to loan it to you. But the idea was similar to what you're saying here. This guy says that maybe the most analogous word to faith is not belief but rather trust. And that trust is not something we can "do" (or perform); trust is the fruit of relationship. For example, I trust you as my friend because you always do what you say you are going to do, and I trust you more now than the first day, or month or year that I met you. It's not something I hope for built on whim; it's something you know based on understanding of character. Anyway, it's a long thing but very good.
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