Snake Bite!

About 2 weeks ago I had a weird dream. I got a snake bite on the hand (between the thumb and first finger in that fleshy part). Not a backyard-kind-of-snake, but a SNAKE. It was black. It looked sort of like the picture I selected here. In the dream, I had to grab it by the tail and actually pull it's 2 fangs out of my hand and then throw it away from me. And, weirdly, I didn't seem to be hurt.

This dream happened right before I woke up in the morning, so I awakened thinking "ooohhh gross. That was awful." And I promptly dismissed it and moved on. It definitely left an impression, but I didn't have a feeling it was spiritually important at that time.

I'm reading a LOT in the book of Acts lately. And about 4 days ago I re-read the part at the very end when Paul is on Malta. He gets a snake bite - on the hand! And the island people want to treat him like a god because they're waiting for him to die and nothing ever happens to him.

So - I stop cold while I'm reading. And immediately remember my dream. But then I get myself confused thinking "did I just read this same passage a week or 2 ago and THAT's what I'm remembering?" But nope - I sure did have that dream.

I'd love to know what you think. I now believe the Lord has something for me in this. Any thoughts or interpretations? On my dream or on that passage in Acts?

Season of Blessing

We've definitely been in a season of blessing lately. Our family is close. Our boys are growing like weeds and are secure and loving. Our friendships are deepening. There are babies being born in our community everywhere we look. We find ourselves genuinely enjoying our home and our life right now. Sure, there are days when none of this is true for a moment but, overall, looking back at the recent past, we've been in a season of blessing.

So, I got curious.... what does God say in scripture about these times? Does my version of being blessed line up with God's? I like this verse in Ezekiel and the description of God's blessing that it gives:

Ezekiel 34:25-27

25 " 'I will make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of wild beasts so that they may live in the desert and sleep in the forests in safety. 26 I will bless them and the places surrounding my hill. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing. 27 The trees of the field will yield their fruit and the ground will yield its crops; the people will be secure in their land. They will know that I am the LORD, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them.

Peaceful Rest

God fights off our enemies

Growth

Fruit and harvest

Security in Him

Freedom from oppression or slavery of our past

So, yeah, I think it's lining up well. And important to note; there's nothing to do here but receive it. And know that it glorifies the Lord. I guess He can bring himself glory in any number of ways, but one way he sometimes does it is to bless those who follow him. Occasionally I find it hard to accept - hard to just sit back and go "ok - bring it on." My flesh wants to figure out when something is going to go wrong or think up reason I don't deserve it or wonder if it just simply isn't true - like I'm delusional or something. But - the truth is - God's heart and character is to bless those who remain faithful to Him. Simple as that.

Morning Coffee = Love

Every morning Bill makes coffee. He gets up around 5am and I get up around 6am, so the coffee is ready and waiting when I come down. To me, this is love. There used to be mornings when I would get up and Bill was so engrossed in work that he hadn't yet made the coffee. I think the look of disappointment on my face said it all. That hasn't happened in a long time. We both acknowledged that when he makes coffee for us in the morning, it's a way that he loves me.

Last night we were going to bed and I noticed he was doing something with the coffeemaker. He said "I'm just making your coffee now since I won't be here in the morning."

That's love, people.

And PS - Our favorite is Seattle's Best: Cinnabon flavor.

Celebrating! Joy! Bahamas!

Bill and I are here in the Bahamas. We are celebrating! My 32nd birthday and our 10 year anniversary. And we're just celebrating with joy all the goodness and blessing that is in our lives these days.

And since I'm paying $10/day for internet, I thought -- why not put up a blog post with some pictures so that you can all celebrate with us?!

The Hilton staff sent up a chocolate dessert for my birthday last night. The restaurant we ate at was quaint with top-quality food - a real treat. We've been sent a bottle of wine and gift certificate for dinner from my parents. There's lots of sunshine and beautiful water. We have time to read and talk together. We get to sleep in a little and have dinners out. All in all, it's just a treat. So - join us in celebrating!

We miss our boys. But I just keep thinking that I would miss out on the joy of these moments if I was so focused on them that I couldn't experience what's right in front of me. So we rest in the fact that our family is caring well for them. And we just enjoy the blessing we've been given.

Vulnerability

I've been contemplating and praying about the idea of "vulnerability" lately. I think this is something that God is stirring up for me to consider. I've just found myself hearing about it in prayer in lots of different ways...here's a few:

• Told a friend of mine that I felt the Lord wanted her to be vulnerable in her joy surrounding her new baby.... to me this might mean --sharing your heart with others, exposing yourself in your joyful state, not concealing it or acting as though it is less than it is...
• I ended up teaching via video for this class I'm doing and a major point was about how God requires boldness and/or vulnerability from us when we are dealing with acting-in-faith and following his Spirit.
• I got an evaluation form from someone in my class at Crossroads that said "I haven't been able to understand what Alli has been saying." And it hit me in a vulnerable place -- in a fear that I have that my words and thoughts are too much and confusing to others. The whole evening after that I just felt vulnerable and touchy.

Vulnerability to me could also look like having an actual opinion about something. Deciding how I feel about something and communicating that reasoning is vulnerable for me. I feel like that opens me up to be disagreed-with, told to 'take a hike,' finding out I'm just plain wrong, feeling stupid or opening myself up to be rejected by someone else who doesn't appreciate me or understand my heart. In essence, refraining from opinions is a form of self-protection. And definitely not a vulnerable place for me to be.

I'm a long-time phone avoider with acquaintances, co-workers, cold callers, people whose numbers I don't recognize on the caller ID...(basically anyone except good friends and a couple family members). I think, in part, because it's vulnerable. What if they ask me something I'm not prepared to answer? Geee.....why don't I just try saying "I can't answer you on that and here's why!"

God has been trying to move me out of this place in my past where I understood what everyone else was thinking or where they were before I expressed an opinion. Even if I went ahead with a strong opinion, I'd assessed the risk. This is inauthentic and, at worst, manipulative (even if I didn't have that intent). I think God is after me to just be open and vulnerable. Risk rejection from others and come to Him to receive my fill.

Even writing this is vulnerable for me, because it feels exposing. Our masks tend to keep us in denial. The less vulnerable we are, the less we have to face the potential consequences of failure or rejection. And the more we can believe that we can make it on our own. Join me in saying -- this is CRAP.

God - I repent of self-protection, denial and avoidance. I repent of trying to keep myself out of harm's way and avoid being rejected. I know this is a false way to live life and you are the only Protector. I know you fully receive me even when I'm wrong. I know you love me more fully than I know how to receive. I know in my efforts to remain closed, I have cut off real relationships from going further and you from working. I take responsibility for this and ask you to lead me out of it. Bring me opportunities to be vulnerable and help me take them with your leading. But don't leave me! I need you! I'm scared to be in vulnerable places without you.

Pedicure Chakras?!

I got a pedicure today in honor of our upcoming anniversary trip to the Bahamas (Wooooohooooo!). And no sooner was I settled comfortably in my back-massaging, vibrating chair with my feet in the warm water then Mandy (the Aveda nail tech doing my feet) walked up with a little booklet and said "look through this - these are all the chakras and pick one out to be added to your lotion." So I, looking stupified, said "huh?"

She launched into an explanation that Aveda, corporately, had decided to reintroduce their aromatherapy linked to all the chakras in the body...said something about 'Indian medicine' and whichever one I picked is the one my body was craving -- the thing I needed the most. The cards said things like 'wisdom, insight,' etc. And then she said that Aveda had reformulated these scents so that they actually changed things internally around these chakras. (Again "huh?"). Still unsure what a chakra was....

I sat thinking about how strange it was to have an entire world-view proposed to me (or forced upon me) while I got a pedicure at my neighborhood salon. I was not expecting it and was really taken aback. I sensed that God was urging me to understand that, in these times, we are more and more going to be presented with things like this: things that are counter to His Kingdom. Anti-Jesus world views that are proposed by nail techs. I say anti-Jesus because ANYthing that proposes a power (especially to redeem and heal) that is outside of the power of Jesus is FALSE. That doesn't mean that there isn't power that can be experienced -- it just means that it's a counterfeit to the real thing; essentially a chakra-balancing pedicure is 'occult-ish' - it stands opposed to God's real healing and redeeming power.

I need to get prepared. I was asking Jesus if there was anything He wanted me to do, say, etc. to Mandy. I wasn't compelled, so I didn't. But I certainly did note how strange and startling this experience was as I consider it from the perspective of the Kingdom of God.

Paula's Blog Experiment

I'm sitting here with Paula.  We're checkin' out blogs.  She's about to start one for parenting (I'll put it on my list when she's up and running!).  I'm showing her how to post.  This is a mile-marker for me: I'm teaching someone else something about the online world.  It is possible for someone to know less (at least about blogging).

So...we're just messing around.  

PS - Here's our friend Bill Poff with a monkey.  Just because he's always the guy who wants his face on everything. (kidding - if you knew Bill you'd know that was a joke).

No slaves needed

So...here's the follow up post to my last...I told you I'd say what I'd actually heard the Lord communicate to me that I refereced in my last post...so here it is: God (Almighty) wants us to know Him as "The Lord."

In Genesis 17, God introduces himself to Abraham and says "I'm God Almighty..." and explains that He wants to bless him, give him an inheritance, be faithful to Him and fulfill His Covenant. Later, in Exodus chapter 6, he speaks again to Moses and says 'I'm now going to reveal myself as THE LORD... I've never revealed this aspect of my character and heart, so Get Ready! I want to FREE my people, LOVE them and REDEEM them. I want to punish their enemies. I want to take them as my OWN.'

God isn't satisfied to fulfill a contract with us. He doesn't want slaves. He's not happy when we hear his voice. He's not happy when we obey Him. He's only happy when we engage our hearts together with His and then Hear, BELIEVE and then Obey. We aren't slaves to a master...we're in a love-relationship (if we will enter it) with THE LORD. Without our hearts involved, we're simply (at best!) executing commands from a master to his subject.

Enter the Hebrews verse that tells us "without faith it is impossible to please God." I always thought of God in this verse as a disapproving master up there frowning at me as I struggle to muster-up enough faith to please Him. Wrong! Entirely NOT the point here. God is saying to us that WITHOUT our hearts involved it isn't Real Faith (i.e. unless we receive Him as THE LORD and let Him free us, love us and redeem us), and He still isn't happy. He wants us to be in a love relationship. And that's it. That's all He's after.

He isn't interested in slaves. He's got armies to do His bidding - they're called angels. He has something else in mind for you and me. And He isn't happy unless we enter into Real Faith by believing Him with our whole hearts and letting obediance flow out as a natural by-product of that love.

The Spirit of Truth

I haven't been writing things here like I usually would - processing things that I'm learning and hearing in my relationship with God. I've been writing them someplace else. I'm teaching a community group at Crossroads. I created this class called "Walking by Faith." And it turns out that I'm about 5 days ahead of the class. Here's what I mean.

I've actually been praying for the content of this class for a while. I knew the topic. I knew some of the influencing books. I had a basic outline of content and progression. But as far as the meat of each week...well, like I said: I've been about 5-10 days ahead. Each time I prayed I just heard God saying to me "I'm going to give it to you." And he has. I've been reading and writing faithfully what I've been hearing from the Lord and simply continuing in my relationship with Him in a focused way each day - searching for and expecting Him to speak to me about the topic at hand.

So Monday night was the first class. And something popped out of my teaching - a phrase that I noticed I repeated twice. It was a sub-point at best - more like an illustration of something I was saying. And then it popped out on the feedback forms that night "hey - I want to hear more about that" or "I could relate to that concept." I knew this was the Lord giving me something about the class He wanted talked about, so I prayed on the way home that night asking Him to reveal it me me. Two days later I was reading in my bible in the morning and BAM! there it was. The concept, the explanation, the very thing I knew He wanted taught. Don't get me wrong; it wasn't in black and white but it was THERE.

A few things I'm learning in this process:

• If you get ahead of the Lord, you'll miss actually experiencing relationship.
• The Holy Spirit is the revealer of truth. Period.
• (Many times) our daily spiritual disciplines are the exact way that the Lord will reveal Himself. Our faithfulness and discipline begets revelation and intimacy with Him.
• The Holy Spirit empowers us to minister to others -- the gifts are for the Body. God is excited about giving me insight and empowerment to teach His Word to His People. He doesn't hoard His Spirit. He is generous and giving!

More to come on what He is actually saying....