Hurry!

I've been noticing that Andrew doesn't respond well to being in a hurry. I like that. It's pretty rare that we have to get out the door "in a hurry." The one or 2 times lately that we've done that (thanks to me waking him up late from his nap), the response has been poor at best. He's kind of weepy and not interested in co-operating with my sudden need to get out the door.

I think hurry is a tactic to steal away our very lives. I didn't notice how much we'd eliminated hurry from our existence until I try to put it back in. It's like a shoe that's too small. You can push and push but it just isn't going to go on. And there really isn't any hurrying a 3 year old who's just awakened from a nap. Plus - the very things that get eliminated in a hurry are the things worth living for.

When Andrew wakes up he likes to have a little cuddle and be awakened slowly and gently (who doesn't?!). He likes to give kisses and talk to his brother who is usually crawling around the foot of his bed. He wants me to carry him down the stairs. And then we sing and dance while we have a snack. Hurry makes all this seem unnecessary. Hurry makes you think that those are the things you can live without.

But those are the very things we live for. Ecclesiastes 2:10 says "My heart took delight in my work, and that was the reward for all my labor." Hurry steals the things that delight your heart. I'm not going to let that happen. So even if we're in a hurry....we still get the cuddle, we still get the singing...we just might miss 5 minutes of the swim lesson.

Out of the mouth of babes...

It's hilarious to talk God and Jesus with a 3 year old. There are moments like tonight when you just have to laugh and move on. And there are moments when I think "did he really just say what I think he said?!" Here's a few of my favorites!

• (Tonight) "Mommy - I'm going to be a teacher for you about Jesus. Give me the glue."
• (We're in the car listening to Christmas carols LAST year (he was barely 2 at the time) and O Holy Night came on). "Mommy - this song is about joy."
• (About a friend's little girl who has cancer) "Jesus - we want you to heal Keira and also bring her comfort with hot chocolate and peanut butter crackers."
• (On a night when I was really struggling...I asked him if he would pray for mommy) "God please come and be with my mommy and give her a big hug."
• "Go away Jesus!" (What he was trying to say to a dog that scared him was "Jesus says you have to go away!")
• (In answer to me asking if he wants to thank Jesus for our dinner) "Nope."
• "Can I ask Jesus if He can take Luke away?"

I'm sure there are more... I'll try to do little posts when they happen -- they're usually just so good. Feel free to post anything your kids have said...I'd love to read 'em.

The Dude Ranch

Some recent conversation has caused me to remember our brief visit to a dude-ranch in North Carolina last summer. Our family really loved this place (http://www.pisgahviewranch.net/). We did go on the heels of a week with both sets of grandparents at the beach, so perhaps we really needed the peace and quiet. Or maybe it really was that great. In any case, it was a little oasis of quiet, rest and well, nothing-ness that made it just perfect.



The quiet was mountains-in-the-morning kind of quiet. The view I've shown is what you're staring at from the main house on the ranch - Mt Pisgah. It's the kind of quiet where you sit on your rocking chair on the front porch in the evening and you hear the squeak of your chair and the clop-clop-clop of the pygmie goats kept as pets on the property (no kidding). And that's it.

See - there's the goat. (Andrew's in green with some boys we met). By the way -- we heard something on our deck one morning and, disturbingly, the goat was ramming his tiny little horns into our sliding-glass door. Kinda weird.

The rest was the kind where (after biscuits and gravy) you choose from a walk over to skip rocks on the pond (which I can't do!), a game of shuffleboard (I avoid the game after pulling a muscle on a cruise a few years back), or a trail ride on one of the beautiful horses they keep at the ranch. I found that I loved to take Andrew and just wander-about...checking out the chickens or digging up rocks by the pond. This was the nothing-ness. Nothing to do. Nowhere to be. You're there. And every now and then we'd just take off running for no reason.

And also: you can get sweet tea all day long in the main house. 'Nuff said.



Doing this post is making me remember a verse.

Isaiah 30:15
"In repentance and rest is your salvation.
In quietness and trust is your strength..."

Prayers for my boys

I pray for my sons. Often. There aren't a lot of things that I could tell you for which I pray persistently over years. But my boys - yes.

I always check on them before I go to sleep every night -- to replace socks that got pulled off, to pull up the covers or to rearrange Andrew's body from the strange positions in which he falls asleep. And Luke's favorite surprise is to poop in his sleep so I have to wake him, change it and then put him back down. So a lot of times I will give them an extra kiss or just stand and stare at them a moment (or duck below the crib when Luke raises his head!) And some nights I pray at that time for them. Like last night. I left each room and then just paused at the door and prayed with my hands on their doors.

I've prayed all kinds of prayers for each of them -- some of my favorites are that they would be lovers of God's word, that they would have a teachable spirit that leans naturally toward obediance, that the space around their beds would be only for the Lord while they sleep, that they would hear God's voice and recognize the sound of it, that the 2 of them would be friends because of their brotherhood in Jesus and not just in the flesh, that they might have nothing to inhibit soaking up love from us and from God. I've prayed that they would be free from generational things in our family, that they might not run after accomplishments or money... that they would be men who stuck out like a sore-thumb in the world because of the way that they effortlessly combine strong masculinity with a spirit that oozes the love of Jesus to others.

Last night I stood at their doors and noticed the differences in what I prayed for them -- for Andrew I prayed that his adventurous spirit would never be squashed but that the Holy Spirit would produce the fruit of self-control in him. I prayed that his physical strength and vigor would be a symbol of being a spiritual giant in the Kingdom of God. I prayed for him to always love God's word and have a teachable spirit that wanted to obey.

And for Luke I prayed that God would always bring him shepherds - men in his life at every age that would complement the teachings and shepherding of his father, Bill. That shepherding would be so modeled for Luke that he couldn't help but shepherd others. I asked that God's compassion would come forward through his life. And I prayed for him to always love God's word and have a teachable spirit that wanted to obey.

I prayed for the joy of the Lord - zeal, fun and laughter to be spread wherever either of my sons are.

Someday I'd love to know all the fruit that comes from mother's prayers. I just believe in faith that it's part of my inheritance in the Lord to one day understand what all those silent prayers have meant to the Kingdom and to my kids.

Don't strain your eyes.

I've been thinking over the past 3-4 days about how much time I spend trying to figure out what God's up to. This is actually fun for me. I like to look around at what's happening in my life and others and pontificate about what God might or might not be doing. Well, the last few days I've been thinking about the fact that, while God does make us promises about our futures, He doesn't want us wasting so much time trying to figure out the steps he's going to take us on to fulfill them.

James 14:13-14 says "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

My job is not to try to figure-out God. My job is not to try to see too far ahead and make a big plan. It's God's pleasure to decide what enjoyment or purpose he will take out of my life. He's the Maker...I'm the made.

Rather than trying to see ahead, we have 2 other views to look upon:

1) Behind us. We can look just behind us at our yesterdays to see what God has done. And it's those things that have been done which we can celebrate, confirm, teach, remember, agree-with, pass-on encourage-with or impart to others. God gives us lot of commands in scripture to remember and celebrate.
But God gives no commands about seeing into the future and none to try-real-hard-to-know-where-He's-going-next. He talks much of the past. He talks much of the present. But doesn't really want us focused so much on our earthly futures.

2) Our next moment: the present. We DO have something to do that certainly impacts where we're heading and what God is up to in our lives. Our job in the present. This is to listen to God's voice and follow it. In essence our job is to hear and obey. And this will walk us into the future plans for our lives. The more we practice this, the more we will naturally abide in Him and in His plans for our futures.
1 John 2:3-4 "We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. 4The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him."
Isaiah 30: 21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."
John 15:4-5 "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

Now I have so enjoyed saying to Him hmmm God are you doing this?! ...it's like trying to crack the best, most interesting code ever. But honestly -- more often my attempts to figure Him out just result in me laying my own expectations on Him and ending up disappointed.

Proverbs 27:1 says "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth."

I think I'm going to give up trying to crack the code of my future. (This is big since I came from a family whose unofficial motto is 'Get a Plan and Stick to It!') I'm not exhausted or frustrated (ok, sometimes I get frustrated)...I'm just trying to say I agree with God. I agree that I'll try to put my energy and heart where they belong: celebrating, remembering, listening and obeying.
That'll be plenty.

Have a laugh.

Seriously...this is hilarious. It's a sharp-witted 88 year old woman who called in to the Ellen show. Trust me: it's worth a few minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83JDXXKzOXg

I'm back again adding to this entry. In the past 24 hours, 3 of my friends have also blogged about laughing or lightening up. These friends all know God and seek to hear His voice and follow. So, I'm declaring this:
GOD SAYS "LAUGH!"

Go on. Don't resist. Click on the link.

Choosing to receive love

I love my facial moisturizer... Olay Total Effects. I like the 'regular' one - not tinted, unscented, with SPF, blemish-control or any other version. Just the base-line regular version. It's a great product (which I also know is technically true since I worked in P&G Beauty Care Marketing for so long), and I LOVE the scent of it.

So why am I telling you this?

Well, about 2 weeks ago I put it on my shopping list, but Bill went to the store. I explained thoroughly about which product it was, but I knew that once you get in that aisle it gets pretty confusing with about 19 different versions of the same product. I didn't hold out much hope. And I was right - he came home with (gasp!) unscented. I looked for the receipt to return it, but we'd already thrown it out. Bill told me he was sorry he got the wrong product and I wrestled with whether or not to go back and beg an exchange (it IS about $16 bucks that I didn't want to waste).

It sat on the counter for a week until I finally thought who am I kidding? there's no way i'm ever going to make it back to the store to exchange that.

Then I remembered what Bill said when I told him it was the wrong thing: "Sorry babe - I just remembered you don't like strong scents on a lot of things, so I thought this would be the right one. I saw the one you're talking about but picked this instead."

My husband picked this out because he knows me. So what if he got it a little wrong? He actually stood in the aisle, thought about his wife and picked the one he thought was right because he KNOWS me. Isn't that what we wives want?! Our husbands to know us? To love us? To think of us at all times? He didn't pick this because he was being thoughtless, impatient or inattentive...he picked unscented because he KNOWS me. How was he to know that it just-so-happens this is one scent that I absolutely LOVE.

I went to Bill and told him - told him how much it meant to me that he did that, told him I felt loved and known by it. And then I decided to keep it and use it and remember to thank God everytime I put on my moisturizer for the next 6 weeks that I have a husband who wants to know me!

Hot chocolate - the end or just the means?

I really like hot chocolate. But it has typically been only a medium to melt and a vehicle to carry marshmellows. Marshmellows are the yummiest part of hot chocolate for me. Today, sadly, I had only about 10 mini marshmellows left in the bag. A pathetic volume and virtually a reason to abandon the hot chocolate altogether. But, pleasantly, I discovered that without the marshmellow melting distraction I actually did enjoy the drink itself.

So - what say you? Is the main attraction hot chocolate itself or is it simply a means to an end -- the yummy gooey mess of melted marshmellows?

Let's put it to a vote.

It's about People, people

I'm re-reading the gospel of Mark right now. And just yesterday I had a "moment" if you know what I mean...one of those duh moments. I was reading through the first few chapters and something just kept sticking out to me: the fact that everything Jesus said and did was about PEOPLE.
Now, the idea that Jesus loves people is certainly not a new consideration for me (or you I'm sure) - we all know that. But here I am reading the account of someone's life - these gospels record the life and times of Jesus - and nearly every single passage is about how Jesus treated people, how he loved people, what He says about people or what he teaches us about people.
Here's a few of them from the section I was reading:

• (To Simon and Andrew) "Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men."
• The accounts of Jesus healing a demon-possessed man, his friend's mother in law, a leper and a paralyzed man are just in the first 2 chapters!
• (When accused of hanging out with people who were losers and sinners) "It is not the healthy (people!) who need a doctor but the sick (people!). I have not come to call the righteous (people!), but sinners."
• And the one that really got me was Mark 2:21-22 "No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. If he does, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, he pours new wine into new wineskins."

I've heard this passage used a number of times to talk about how God is interested in starting new programs, new organizations or new ministries. Perhaps there is a useful metaphor there for other things, but this is NOT what the passage is saying primarily. I believe Jesus is talking here about PEOPLE. Maybe all you people reading this already knew that (like I said it was kind of a duh-moment) but I think this passage had been tainted for me because of the use I had heard of it. I guess God sort of just reached down and poked me and said Hey! This is about PEOPLE. Jesus pours himself into PEOPLE. People is the metaphor here.

In the section before this passage he is asked about why his disciples weren't fasting like the disciples of John and the Pharisees. (Again - the discussion is about His people). He then explains with the wineskin passage that He is a new thing - that He's here to do something new and that they shouldn't look at the disciples of other groups/folks to find out what HIS followers will do. His people follow HIM - not other leaders, good programs or even the old covenant that John represents here. He's interested in pouring himself into NEW kinds of people - the sick, lonely, sinner, thief, whatever. THAT is the new group of people He's come for. That's the new wineskin he's looking for. Crazy. And probably offensive to many nice people of his time.

And I began to wonder -- if someone were writing a book of my life; how many stories and chapters of my life record would be about PEOPLE? What would the other topics be? And how do I begin to see the time or energy or money in my life that goes towards other things? Things of much less value than PEOPLE.