Finishing up

My class. I wanted to post a quick note since I've gotten some questions about the end of my class "Old Testament Foundations." In short - it was great. I learned so much. It was basically a survey of the entire Old Testament, learning God's story as told through the different sections of OT scripture - the Pentateuch, the historical books, the poetical books, the prophets, the wisdom books. There is so much to learn that sometimes my head would spin at all there was to learn. And then I would remember - "this is the big picture -- pull it back a bit!"
I wrote 3 papers: one on the foretelling of Jesus through ancient Israel's worship, one about the main theological themes of the Old Testament and one was a 3-parter: a) themes of the prophets, b) extrabiblical ancient literature and c) how my understanding of Jesus is was changed by what I've learned in the OT.

I honestly have no opinion as to whether this was a "good" or "bad" class. I have nothing with which to compare. For me, it was a great learning experience for a highly motivated learner. I knew I just desired the material -- almost like water on a hot day...something I was lacking and desperately desiring. I saw again how much I love to write and how much my writing is connected to my learning. One of my papers actually made me cry.

There were days that I got tired of using all my early mornings and naptimes to get my work done. And the week my papers were due were a little much. But all in all, it was great.

Next semester I'm doing "New Testament Foundations." When I saw that I said "oh yeah - that makes sense." First the Old, then the New...a year of laying foundations.

LUKE is 3!

Today is Luke's 3rd birthday! My sweet little guy was so excited about today that last night he was singing himself "Happy Birthday" in bed and having a birthday party with his stuffed animals! He's been wearing his birthday crown almost every day since his preschool class celebrated his birthday on Dec 3rd. I think this is the first year he understands and anticipates the excitement of a birthday. We're heading to First Watch with the whole family for lunch - at his request. His favorite meal is pancakes and eggs.

Luke is some special kid. He just melts my heart with his sweetness. I see purity all over him. People typically comment on his "bright eyes" or his "sweetest little voice." He leaves joy in his wake. I always tell Luke that I have a "Luke-y spot" in my heart that only he can fill. He likes that! And this kid is a resilient little boy...not much ruffles his feathers, makes him cry or upsets him. He "rolls with it."

A friend told me before Luke was born that he would fill in holes in our family that we didn't even know were there. And he has. He cannot be compared to anyone else - Luke is Luke. And we love him so much.

My Boy

Andrew is such a great kid. Today he is 5 years old! I think that officially means he isn't a toddler, and certainly not a baby, anymore. He just seems....grown up.

We love this kid so much. He's energetic (!!!), funny, smart, kind-hearted, sensitive and above-all: loving! He is just made to be a friend. He has a natural way of bringing others into what he's doing and making them feel cared-for, protected or special. Andrew is also a great cuddler. He's awesome at numbers (does math in his head already!) and loves to build things. He calls Luke his "best bud" and has said often of Zoe "mommy I just can't stop loving her!" He has a special place in his heart for his Dad (affectionately known as "Big Dude"). We all have special relationships with Andrew.

We don't know what our family would be like without this wonderful boy! He is an awesome kid.

Five years ago today I basking in the glow of my first son being born at 12:04pm. His proud daddy was already happily watching the Buckeyes beat Michigan while cuddling his boy. Perfect all around.

An idea and a little spontaneity

So if you've read my blog for a while you know I'm big on having weekly routines to be intentional about how/where I'm spending time with/for my kids. But we always leave open space. And today something cool happened in the open space.

We (me and the boys) were doing our Monday morning "table time" during Zoe's nap. This is a time where we all sit together at the kitchen table and almost anything is fair game as long as it can be done on the table. Sometimes we color, practice writing letters, play games, do puzzles, play cards or read books or magazines. Today while the boys were finishing a puzzle I was glancing through a kids magazine that they don't really like (it's a little old for them still). But I came across a story about 2 brothers who served the homeless with their parents. It was short so I read it to them. It was a cool story about 2 boys who got an idea while they were serving food to the homeless that they should buy each of them a sleeping bag. So they counted their piggy banks and they did it. And the next year they handed out 32 sleeping bags. Anyway - cool story. Within it there was a very brief mention that one time the boys took candy to give away with the food and people loved it because they don't usually get candy. And...there it was! An idea.

Why don't we take all this Halloween candy and give it away?

I ran it by the boys and it was met with very little excitement. They love their Halloween candy. But I persisted. So Andrew chose the required 10 pieces and Luke counted out 21. I also contributed 11 pieces plus the extra we'd held back after trick or treat was over. As soon as Zoe woke up, we were off!

We drove down to Washington Park in Over the Rhine. It is a beautiful day today so I figured we'd find a lot of people out and about around this area. I was right. By the time we arrived Andrew was excited. He ran up to almost everyone we saw and asked if they wanted candy. Almost everyone did! Here's a few little snippets...

• We were met with surprise but we were received. People love bold and vulnerable kids.
• One guy wanted to give the boys something too and gave them each $1. I felt it was right to just receive his kindness. And Andrew gave his away to the next man he met.
• One guy had a dog and said his name was Elmo. I said "Really?!" and he said "only when kids are around, his real name is (expletive)." I was amused by this...even he seemed protective of the kids.
• One man asked us where we attended church and had questions about whether he'd be welcome on the weekend. I told him absolutely yes and how to get there.
• We took some play-dough and a baby blanket and asked Jesus to show us some kids to give to. One man mentioned he had a boy about Andrew's age so we gave him the play-dough. He was thrilled. We talked to two young men who both said they had babies but didn't want to take the (white) blanket for fear they get it dirty before they saw their babies again. Next time I'll ask for the address and send it to them.
• One man clearly wasn't mentally together...and he grabbed a lot of candy and tried to take the bucket from Andrew. Another man standing in the group immediately grabbed the bucket back for Andrew and said "what's wrong with you - give that kid his bucket!" He and I had been chatting so I thanked him. Andrew and Luke were not bothered by any of this exchange.

On the way home I asked the boys what they noticed about the area and they told me that people didn't really have houses like we did and no playsets were around and no yards. We got to thank God for all that He has given to us.

I'm under no false impressions that we did something huge and majestic today. But it did force us all out of our comfort zone and into real conversations with real people that we never would have seen or met. It definitely served to show me what was in my own heart - nervousness about engaging people when I wasn't sure how/if we'd be received and wondering whether what we were doing was just stupid. But I believe God put that story in my hands this morning and am thankful we were spontaneous enough to say yes. I think this was born in His heart.

I feel like a stupid white girl even writing this story because it seems like something suburban people might do to make themselves feel good about giving to people who had less than them. But that isn't why we went. We just said yes to an idea in the belief that it was from God. I don't know what really happened in the hearts of anyone we met but I know what happened in mine: a couple fences came down and a couple new conversations with my boys opened up. So that was good.

Halloween Fun!

Halloween is such fun, isn't it? Here are my trick or treaters all ready to go! Andrew and Luke were doing their best superhero poses! Our neighborhood is so friendly, especially on special nights like this. As we sat out at the fire pit in the driveway, I found myself wishing that we had more nights where people came out of their houses in the evenings.

Below are pictures from the preschool parades that Andrew and Luke got to do with their classes.

And finally Zoe. Thanks Grandma for making such a great "Super Zoe" costume. Any superhero that we can make sparkly pink and purple is good for my girl!

New York! Second annual.

I think our trip is best told in pictures. And they're more fun anyway!

We (just me and Andrew) arrived Friday at lunchtime. That afternoon we took the ferry to Hoboken NJ to visit Carlo's Bakery (from the show Cake Boss on TLC: I'm a fan and just had to taste it!). Andrew learned the phrase "wild goose chase" as we had a few missteps on the trip!



We bought and ate that Frankenstein cake (yum!) at a gathering of John's friends on Friday evening.

Saturday morning we went to FAO Schwarz!


Andrew learned from Uncle John how to hail his own cab. As usual, transportation was a major highlight: airplanes, boats, trains, cabs...a little boy's dream!


We also went to the top of the Empire State Building at sunset (no we couldn't have planned the timing!) and then ate dinner at Mars 2112 in Times Square. We also got a simulated helicopter ride (think theme-park-moving-seat-ride) that I think might have been Andrew's favorite thing on the whole trip. It was so good that I got motion sick!

Sunday was lovely. A walk to the park with the new puppy, Taz. Lunch out. (We even saw Bono eating at a place called "Isabella's" - right out on the street! Of course I would never have known him but John and Matt did in an instant!).

All in all - an awesome trip. So many little things to tell that I couldn't possibly do it here. We had a great time. These annual trips are the makings of some great great memories. We sure love Uncle John and Matt.

The Fear of God

"The fear of God" is a phrase used over and over again in the Bible. I get what it means, as in I understand the meaning of the words...but I always sensed that I was missing this truth within me. What does it mean to "fear God?" I think I'm respectful of Him, recognize His awesomeness, His vastness, His omnipotence, omnipresence, etc...doesn't all that add up to fearing Him? Well, I just kind of always assumed that it did. I figured because I acknowledged all these big/amazing/awe-inspiring aspects of the Lord, that - well, I must fear Him, right?
Wrong.
At least for me.

One thing that has been taking root in me lately is a fear of God. I think I'm making the first scratch on the surface of what all that entails. You see, I've been studying Him through the Old Testament...how He dealt with His people. I have been understanding what it meant to follow Him then - the Law, the sacrifices, the temple, the Kings and priests, etc. I've found myself being offended at some of what I'm learning of Him. I'm annoyed at the complexity of it all. I'm dismayed at the killings He ordered, the curses He brought down, the punishment of death that befalls folks way too often for my sensibilities. I'm overwhelmed by the (seeming) intolerance for what seems to me to be pretty expected fallen human behavior. I'm exhausted by reading about the hundreds of prescribed sacrifices and how the entire society had to pretty much revolve around worshipping God: not because of heartfelt love for Him but because if every waking moment wasn't focused upon it, it actually couldn't even get done. I'm seeing aspects of His character for the first time. The purity He is. The perfection that He is. The uncompromising nature of Him.
Beyond my feeling sorry for the Israelites, overwhelmed and exhausted by their lifestyle and annoyed with God for being so anal and over-the-top...I think what is beginning to set in is fear. Fear of God. I think I'm maybe cracking the door open on pieces of Him previously unexplored in my faith. I'm understanding why our casual approach to Him could be mistaken for disrespect or plain old ignorance of Who He Really Is.
I think I'm starting to get that He didn't DO those things to Israel to make their lives difficult and tempt them into disobediance...He just IS those things. And we can't be in His Presence like we are. And yes, there are a whole lot of hoops you had to jump through if you even wanted to try. I guess that means He is Holy.

If you've read this far, you're just reading some processing of mine about His Holy Nature and how it's beginning to enstill this "fear of God" thing that I've so often read about in the past. No conclusion. No answers. Just processing.
Do you know Him like this?

Zoe's Dedication

This past Sunday in a community of friends, we dedicated Zoe to the Lord. Essentially we said to God "We know you made this special girl. We consider Your will for her better than our own, so we'll follow You first in raising her." We committed to raising her in accordance with God's Word, to keeping the Lord in our home and family and to seek wisdom within our community to parent her. We realize that we cannot control Zoe's relationship with God, but we believe God will reveal His instructions and a lot of grace along the way for her to come to know Him.

There were 12 kids dedicated together - some were children of good friends of mine such as Chaney Russell (Kelly) Isaac Paul (Erin), Ben Ranson (Sara) and Joy Manuel (Dora). We were happy to do this in a community of friends. Here are a couple photos we took. While our intentions are pure and good, we realize too that we are flawed parents, so we put all our hope in Jesus to help us follow through with these commitments. Our best hope for our daugher is to come to know Him and live within a community of people (like this amazing one!) who do too.

Zoe update

Just wanted to bring you up to speed on my cute girl. She's happier than ever and changing all the time. I'm so enjoying her! Lately she can be found:

swinging on the swingset...


crawling everywhere (she must be in the same room with her brothers!)...

being loved by her brothers - sometimes it's a little much!...

trying hard to stand up....

cracking up....(at "where's Zoe?" or being tickled or anything her brothers are doing)

and (just this past week) clapping!

We're all loving this baby-stage. She's 8.5 months now...adorable!

Back to School!

The boys have now gone for their first days of preschool. They attend Anderson Hills Methodist. It's a really nice program. Today (Friday) was Luke's first day ever of preschool. He had no problems and loved it! Here he is ready (how could you not fall in love with that face?!):

And here's big bro showing him the ropes in the hallway (I love this shot!):

Tuesday was Andrew's first day. Here he is with one of his teachers, Mrs Huxtable. She's adorable. Luke described her as "cuddly." I think he's right.

I'm enjoying the new brother dynamics of them being at the same school. They have new things to discuss and share. Unfortunately for mommy, they're never there at the same time.

So we're off and into our new fall schedule. School has begun!

Noodle-fight!

So this week's Bible-story-action was David and Goliath. We had a shield (thanks to last year's Family Camp) and 2 swords.
Let me share with you the perfect sword:

Yes, it's a pool noodle. We had 2 in the garage, and it's (almost) impossible to hurt someone with it. We really went for it when the Philistines were battling with Israel.

This story was just plain fun...we actually did it twice. The boys alternated roles: King Saul or David. Nothing dramatic like last week but fun nonetheless. And they really love the idea of roles, costumes, etc. We just grab whatever is in our garage or basement and go for it. I'm learning again for about the 100th time that the kids just like it when they know a) that mom is going to be totally engaged in the play too! and b) they know what's coming (yay for schedules) so they can look forward to doing it each week.

Patterson-boys' Sleepover

Boys only. Sunday night was the first boys-only sleepover in our basement. It was a celebration of the start of preschool (this Tuesday for Andrew, Friday for Luke). It was complete with sleeping bags, popcorn and daddy...a recipe for a great night. The boys went down there at 730pm. Here's the first picture of them all set up and ready to go.

Then at 8pm I heard the ice cream truck coming up the street...what a perfect surprise! There was also a cookie plate and popcorn...my role was to make up the beds and provide the treats. Perfect.

The next morning, the sleeping bags came upstairs and Zoe got in on the action. She loved it!

The sleepover was a wild-success. We can see these happening on special occasions for a long time to come. As I was sitting upstairs watching "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" I was thinking about how lucky these boys are to have Bill as a father. It's impossible to know what kind of impact a night like this leaves on little boys when they get to see their dad play, read, wrestle and love them in a special boys-only way. But I think it's big.

Update on school

My school (the boys start this next week and I'm sure I'll do a post about that too!).

I was officially accepted a few weeks back. My first class is called "Old Testamant Foundations." I picked it out of all the classes in the seminary as the one I wanted first. And it is PERFECT. I'm learning exactly what I want to learn. The textbook is like gold to me. I read every chapter like this is precious knowledge that I'm allowed to have. I'm so very grateful for this class. It's already getting me more excited about the Bible than ever and filling in so many blanks in my own personal reading and knowledge. I'm constantly thinking "oh yes! why didn't I see that before?!" or "oh yes! that makes sense!" or "man - that is incredible." Turns out a lot of really really really smart people have studied this Book and deeply believe that it is the story of a real God. I'm just beginning to read a book all about the ancient worship practicies prescribed to Israel and how, through them, God was already telling the story of Jesus thousands of years before He came. I'm in heaven. (Not literally). :-)

So... just a quick post to update you....I'm loving it.

Adam and Eve...alli-style

So I thought it'd be good to have fun with some Bible stories by acting them out. Not only is it great fun for the boys, but I believe it just makes the stories come to life and sink deeper. Granted, this will continue to be more fun as they grow up, but I've gotten pretty good at dialing things down for a 2 and 4 year old. But I wasn't prepared at ALL for what happened this morning....

We decided on the story of Adam and Eve and (as their children's bible calls it...) the "Sneaky Snake." This is their current favorite at bedtime. Short on costumes, we grabbed a dinosaur costume from last Halloween and a superhero cape and mask. Andrew (the dinosaur) represented the creation story and Luke (the superhero) was Adam. Then we needed a snake and a God. I said I'd do the snake and Andrew immediately yelled "No Mommy! No one can be the snake!!" Ok - good point. So we settled on the tail of the dinosaur as the snake with mommy doing the voice. And I played God. (hehehe). And off we went through the short story doing voices, hiding behind bushes, etc. Then....

As we were coming to the end and I (er...God) was talking to Adam (now played by Andrew) and Eve (now played by Luke) about why they had to leave the garden and not live with God....I could see Andrew getting a little upset. Tears were forming in his eyes. (I was playing a loving but firm God -- nothing scary, mean or over-the-top I swear!). And he suddenly started to cry when I asked them to leave the garden (the bushes outside our front porch). He cried and cried. I had to stop and hold him on my lap. Real tears. He was really upset!! I asked him why he was crying as I held him and he said...
"Mommy - I can just feel how sad that was for Adam."
All I said was "you're right buddy - this is actually a very sad story. I think you got it."


Stay tuned - next week I promised some sort of battle with light-sabers.

Then and Now

We happened to snap a similar picture this weekend to one that was taken when Zoe was just a few weeks old.

January 26 (Zoe was just15 days old!) and August 27, 2010.

My how she has changed!

Every mommy's favorite picture...

...is with all their kids. Aren't my kids so sweet?!

Dream about school

Ok people... all week a dream has been on my mind. So I asked God to help me find it in my old journals. And, wouldn't you know it, I went right back to it. It's from July 1, 2007. I think He's suggesting that it's related to my new school endeavor.

If there's one thing I'm cautious about going into these classes, it's "Religion." I don't want to become some judgmental, woman who wears denim-jumpers and scrunchies and annoys all her friends with Bible verses. I definitely have a warning in my spirit to be on-the-lookout for Religion hanging around this seminary setting. I'm well aware it's there. But I don't feel that God has told me to avoid it or to be afraid of it...just to be aware.

So, here's the dream;

I'm at the International House of Prayer (quick note: this is the one in Kansas City - which for those who don't know - is notorious for being very into the charismatic gifts of the Holy Spirit...tongues, prophesy, healings, miracles, etc. I have actually been there and it's pretty cool. It's kind of the opposite of a stuffy, traditionally "religious" environment).

Anyway - I'm there taking a class. I'm coming in a little late. I slide into my seat. A man at the front of the lecture hall (3 tiers of a semi-circle...probably 100-200 people) shares something very difficult about his life with the group. He says that we are going to now have a time for the Lord to speak to this...and my assumption is that we will wait a few minutes and hear the Holy Spirit and then say to everyone what we hear God saying. Immediately, though, most of the room instantly breaks out into a loud, unison recitation of the Lord's Prayer. This is supposedly the way God is speaking. My head snaps up. I, and the young guy next to me, say "wow - talk about the religious spirit!" I'm shocked at what's happening and immediately feel God impressing upon me that I am getting a glimpse of how much the religious spirit is present even in places that I don't think it will be. Somehow I'm surprised that I'm one of the few people in the room not falling prey to it. I glance around knowing that there are some other people (friends) that I know in the class. I can't see any of their faces but I know one is Steven...he is sitting on the opposite side of the room from me, way up in the back row. I try to make eye contact to communicate but can't.

Ok friends - that's the end of the dream. Here are my observation THREE years later!

• First of all, can we just say "WOW." This was 3 years ago! God lays plans for our lives, people! He does!


• This feels a lot like my current situation with school! I am coming in less than a week before the start of the semester...they're accepting a late application from me...I'm definitely "sliding into my chair late."


• I take encouragement that God has prepared me with understanding of a religious spirit and that I can be confident that I will have the discernment I need to see it.


• I need to hold fast to the Holy Spirit. God speaks moment by moment THROUGH HIM!

Overall I receive this dream as a warning and as an encouragement. What do you see?! I know God has been bringing this dream back to my mind this week ,and He helped me find it again. So --- if you have any observations, please share!

It's (almost) official

I'm a student again.

I've just enrolled in the Masters of Divinty program at Cincinnati Bible Seminary. I'm waiting on my official admission acceptance, but they've allowed me to go ahead and enroll in my class for this semester. (I'm taking that as a positive sign).

If you're an avid reader of my blog (I think there are 1 or 2 of you out there!) then you know that I really want to learn the Bible in a deeper way. And the Seminary is teaching what I want to learn. I never imagined I'd end up there but honestly it feels really right. If you're interested in more about why I'm going, let me know and I'll send you my essay I wrote for admission! (It's a good, short read!).

I'm going to pursue a concentration in Biblical Studies. I don't care much about any of the courses involving vocational ministries (think family ministry, children's ministries, church planting/leadership, etc). I'm after deeper knowledge of the Bible. The only part I'm not looking forward to is the 12 hours of Greek or Hebrew that I'll eventually have to take!

This will be slow-going. I'm not anxious for a degree. I just want to start learning more. I'm literally doing one class at a time. 75 hours takes a long time that way but I don't care. My first one is called "Old Testament Foundations." Wooohooo! Just what I want. (Seriously - that wasn't a joke).

This is going to be interesting...the admissions assistant already used about 3 terms in our conversation that I didn't understand about the online components of the classes (what's a moodle?!). Anyway - I guess it HAS been 11 years since I graduated. I even remember getting on some crazy thing called "the internet" when I was a freshman in college. My my how things have changed.

Wish me luck in my first class. I'm sure I'll be posting more about this new adventure.

Training is in Session

Two days ago Zoe reached up and pulled off my favorite necklace and broke it. Andrew told me this morning that we couldn't play cards because Zoe was with us (she's been going straight for the pile and messing it up!). Yesterday she turned 7 months old. Two days ago she began to cry at dinner when I wouldn't let her suck on a wet paper towel used to wipe off her face. All of these things convinced me that it was time for her first "No" Boot Camp. We just had our first training session:
A pile of the (forbidden!) cards was near some other (allowed) toys. I let her play. She noticed the cards (as I knew that she would). And she immediately began to reach out for them. I squeezed her hand and, calmly, said "no" in a regular tone of voice. We repeated this no less than 30 times. She finally paused and looked for another toy. We played a few minutes together. Then she went back for the cards. I gave her the same squeeze and "no." She burst into tears! Cried and cried for a couple minutes. We repeated this about 6-7 times again. She finally was crying hard enough that I picked her up and comforted her.

I don't care if you're 7 months or 7 years old: we can't play with anything we want to play with just because it's nearby. And we don't get what we want by crying. These truths hold up for a 33 year old mom as well. I think my kids need taught obediance and self-control even at a young age. Our ability to restrain our own (natural) self-centeredness could very well dictate the course of many decisions we make in our lives. And you might think this is too soon or over the top, but I believe it starts NOW.

This matter is not closed. We'll be having training session #2 later. I'll post results.

"Salting the Earth"

I was reading Matthew 5:13 this morning. It's the familiar passage in the Beatitudes where Jesus teaches about his followers being "salt of the earth." Here it is:

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men."

Something hit me strangely about it today...maybe it was a question about how salt could actually lose saltiness or maybe it's the weird reference to being "trampled." But in any case, I got curious. And so I dug and dug until I discovered something I never knew:

Salting-the-earth was an actual practice of the Roman Empire! They would literally salt the earth of enemies after they'd conquered their lands...to ruin the soil for crops (and make them dependent upon Rome for food). Salt ruins the ground for any crops to ever grow there again!

So when Jesus tells us to be "salt of the earth," I don't think he's primarily talking about salt as a flavor or preservative (both helpful analogies for Christ-followers, but I don't think the main point). Instead, He is telling us that WE are to prevent the enemy from EVER growing "crops" in that land again. We're to RID the world of the enemy by salting the land so Satan can no longer grow his crops here! It's war-talk. It's about conquering. It's making sure that no enemy-crops grow up around US.

I also learned that salt loses it's "saltiness" only when mixed with impurities. When we mix ourselves in with worldliness (i.e. enemy territory) than we are ineffective as salt. We lose our saltiness. We cannot conquer enemy lands and prevent his crops from growing if we, ourselves, are mixed together with impurities.

I love learning. And this one really blew my skirt up!!

Pure Joy

A few minutes ago I was folding laundry with Zoe playing right beside me on the floor. I felt that familiar nudge of God...this time saying "do yourself a favor: stop folding this laundry and play with her." So I did. And this little lady squealed, rolled, kissed and giggled for about 10 straight minutes. She was Pure Joy. And I got to have some too. It was impossible not to share in her light and joy.
I picked this picture because it caught a little glimpse of that full squeal, open mouth JOY that is Zoe.

Ahhhh the rhythm of vacation....

Here's a few more fun vacation pictures...
Our boys perfectly depicted below: Andrew wakes up ready to play and Luke wakes up only to be cuddled.

Zoe was a champ, eating dinner out by the lake many nights. At least it was a good view! And our last evening we all had a sugary drink out at the little tiki-bar on the lake.

And no mountain vacation would be complete without a night of s'mores. This is a FAVORITE of mine. But Luke just wants to eat a Hershey bar, and Bill's not crazy about them at all....so the s'more experience wasn't as magical as I wanted it to be. Oh well. At least there was a pretty fire on a cool evening.