An upgrade from Jesus?

On Thursday night we went up to Great Wolf Lodge to get some dead-of-winter fun. And we did. That waterpark is GREAT fun. The 4 of us spent the night and played and played. I highly recommend doing a mid-week, winter get-away if you can... even though we were just in Mason it felt like we went into another little world for 24 hours (insert all Mason jokes here).

We booked a special rate online. I had looked through the room possibilities and, ideally, we'd have a couple different sleeping areas since we have a baby whose bedtime is 7pm, a toddler who goes down by 8-830pm and us...who don't usually go to sleep quite that early. But, alas, as all you other families know -- sleeping arrangements on trips are never quite right. So, we made our peace with everyone in one room and lights out early. There was one particular suite with a loft that I'd thought would be great for us but was way unaffordable for a random night away.

You guessed it. When we checked in on Thursday we had been upgraded to the Loft Fireplace suite: a room that was a full $150/night more than anything we'd ever even think of paying for with the coveted loft. I immediately thought "Thanks Jesus. I know you knew that was the desire of my heart." It took us from a great-night-away-up-until-bedtime to just a great night away. God is so cool like that when you least expect Him.

King Hezekiah

Today I am just processing some things by writing them out...I have been interested and learning about an ancient king of Judah named King Hezekiah. I think God is pushing me into knowing and understanding his life. Here's how God has pursued me with this guy:

• About 3-4 weeks ago I sat down to read my bible and just heard the word "Hezekiah" in my heart. I immediately thought that it must be one of those really small, prophetic books in the OT that had slipped my mind. So I just looked in my Table of Contents, but turns out it's not a book of the Bible. So I didn't find it that day and I let it go.


• About 2 weeks ago I was given some books by my friend, Mary, just to read for pleasure. The one I chose "randomly" happened to be a historical fiction retelling of the reign of King Ahaz...and Hezekiah was his son (and next in line for the throne of Judah). Wow! I finished this book and thought I really need to get the next book in this series: I can't wait to see what happens during Hezekiah's reign.


• About 3 days ago I sat down to read my bible and was flipping through the book of Isaiah and "stumbled on" a section in Ch 38 entitled 'The events of the reign of King Hezekiah!' I read it voraciously and felt like I got the sequel to my book! Sweet.

So I've been kind of amazed by him. I just keep thinking about this guy... why God loved him and what his life and reign was like...here's a few highlights I'm pondering:

2 Kings 18:5-7 "Hezekiah trusted in the LORD, the God of Israel. There was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before him or after him. 6 He held fast to the LORD and did not cease to follow him; he kept the commands the LORD had given Moses. 7 And the LORD was with him; he was successful in whatever he undertook. He rebelled against the king of Assyria and did not serve him."

• He had Courage with a capital C. He took over Judah in ruins, idolatry and desperation with no army whatsoever. And he stood up against a crazy, bloodthirsty king of Assyria. Even the King of Assyria was incredulous at his Courage. He said to Hezekiah "On what are you basing this confidence of yours?...On whom are you depending that you rebel against ME?"
• He was a picture of walking by FAITH. He had nothing to work with except for God. But he held fast to God's sworn promises to Him and to Judah. And He BELIEVED them. He acted against ALL circumstances to say to God "I know you're a God of your Word. I believe you."
• God listened to this guy's prayers and actually changed his mind because of them. In Isaiah 37 God says to Hezekiah "BECAUSE YOU HAVE PRAYED TO ME concerning..." and proceeds to promise him that his enemies will never conquer Jerusalem. Also - he was later on his death bed and he wept to God about it and God said "I have heard your prayer and seen your tears: I will add fifteen years to your life..." Sometimes I am so tempted to not go to God in prayer because I think it's not important enough or it's already been decided upon. I am so encouraged by this guy's prayers and God's response to him.

What else do you see or hear in this?

Lunchtime with Daddy

Today I'm celebrating something that Bill does regularly... comes home for lunch! This picture is just about an hour ago in our front yard playing with the boys in the snow.

This is one of the most loving things that Bill does in our day-to-day life. It shows me that he's thinking of us, that he wants to spend time with us and that his family comes above all else. It also shows me that he understands my needs - that a small break in the day can mean so much when you're taking care of 2 little ones all the time.

I used to think he was just doing it because he felt bad for me or because he had guilt or something. But that isn't the truth at all... the truth is he does it because he wants to and because he loves us. I think I just struggled at first to receive it. I am careful never to turn this into an "expectation" of him. I don't huff if a week goes by and it doesn't happen. I just yuck-it-up when it does. So today was one of those days!

I know other dads show their love in other ways, but I happen to LOVE this particular way of Bill's. Here's a few of our favorite spots to meet: the Atrium at Crossroads, Beech Acres Park (also pictured below last July), Big Apple Bagels or just at home for some playtime together.

Today I am just celebrating Bill and his love for me and for his boys. Awesome husband. Awesome dad.

Let's talk about TV.

Not your favorite shows. But TV.

Last night I paid attention to something that went on inside me. I'm glued to a fantastic book (thanks Mary!) and then Bill and I do a marriage-study right now together on Sunday nights. So....between those 2 things the television never came on last night. Yes! Sweet. Almost.

I had this moment when I felt it pull at me. I swear it was daring me to defy the entertainment, laughter, pleasure (whatever) that comes from within it. I'm not sure why last night vs other nights, but I noticed it. It was pulling at me. Daring me to think I could be fulfilled in my evening without it.

It's crap. I've got a couple favorite shows and I think it's fine to be entertained by decent shows. But really? It's crap. I've grown impatient with it - and with myself for wanting it. And the things I allow into my mind and heart when I do watch TV are not exactly always noble, lovely, good and pure. And what's worse? Sometimes I don't even see that. (I'm a big Friends fan. If you'd watched as many old Friends episodes as I have; you'd notice a sickeningly consistent theme of porn references throughout many episodes. Watch just one show and you'll barely take note of it).

I've begun to think "I wonder who is writing this show? I wonder what they're like...what they think of God, what they'd say about the values I hold for myself and my family. " (And I used to BE an advertiser so I KNOW what they're thinking!) This is all crap. Let's turn it off. I'm not an extremist by nature -- but I'm growing ever more suspicious of what's on there and what it does to my soul.

Ok - now we can talk about your favorite shows: does anyone else kinda like that Duggar family? And the blind guy on American Idol!

I love pictures...

I just decided to randomly select a picture and tell you a story. So - here it is. That's me in college with my 2 friends, Laura (middle) and Christina (right). Here's the story: not about the picture but about Christina.

Christina is dying of brain cancer. This picture was taken just months before her first of many surgeries and a 10 year struggle that, by all recent reports, is about to be over. I lost touch with Christina not long after college. But Laura recently brought me back up to speed on her condition. It's rocked my world.

I could say the normal stuff about facing-your-own-mortality. And that's true and startling. But for me the thing that I am feeling the most deeply is about the devastating possibility of losing a spouse. It's Jack (her husband) that I find myself thinking of. I love Bill and my boys so much that sometimes it hurts me. And finding out about Christina has just made me mourn for her spouse so deeply. I find myself thinking about them and praying for them all the time.

If you are reading this post, please stop right now and pray for them...pray these prayers with me:

Father - HEAL. Come now and be the Healer that IS. Touch Christina and heal her completely! I'm asking you for a miracle. I want to read about her in the newspaper as an inexplicable medical mystery. I want to giggle and know that it was YOU while I'm sitting in my living room with my hot chocolate watching Dr Phil interview her and all the baffled doctors.

God, you say that Jesus is the Good Shepherd...please send out a shepherd with your heart to take care of Jack. He has faith in you. Honor that, Lord, and send him someone who can tenderly guide Him to your comfort and your shelter during this terrible time.

Be the Redeemer. Redeem this family's faith. Bring them all home again to you. Let not one moment of Christina's struggle be wasted... Father, bring them all into relationship with your son.
Lastly - I'm asking you to call up Christina's intercessors all over the world...put her name...her full name on the lips of people praying in every country in every language all over the world. Call them forward to ask for her healing.

Amen. So may it be.

Pictures of Receiving

On Tuesday I called my friend Mary and said "I need to receive some stuff from you!" She's a fantastic, passionate cook and baker. And my meal-times need some serious inspiration. So I decided I could borrow some of her passion. I gave her some parameters: a) as hands-off as possible (i.e. Crock-pot, bake a whole dish instead of meat-with-sides-meals) and b) little kid friendly.
I also needed to receive BOOKS. Mary and I share a love of reading. I would rather read than watch TV, talk on the phone or many other things. And Mary always seems to have good books. And I'm always struggling with what I should read next. So - she brought me 6 books that night.

It's great to receive. It's great to be able to call a friend and say "I need something and you've got it to give." God is like that. That's pretty much exactly what He wants us to do. He's got it all. We've got nothing to offer Him. He's the one who came to serve US. (Not the other way around). He's the Mary and you're the Alli. We're the ones who need restoration, infused passion or just plain healing. He's the one with all the good books and recipes.

Last night I saw another picture of receiving. I went to a meeting about mentoring/discipling other people. I learned again (and felt that flame fanned in me) that He, as the Good Shepherd, teaches us what it looks like to help care-for, fight-for and mature someone else in their faith. It's intentional, strategic and at the bottom of it is the heart of a groom who wants his bride lovingly cared-for in his absence. And it's practical stuff like "how can I be a good wife, mother, daughter? how can I care for my family and my work? how can I spend time with God and learn how to pray?" There are people around who know more than you and me. And it's just sitting out there waiting to be offered and received.
31 women (and I don't know how many men) stepped forward to say "I want that. I want to receive that from another person in my life."

If you need something, receive it. From a friend, from another woman, from your husband - and ultimately, from God. When I called Mary, I just knew we were friends...I didn't have to offer her anything. I didn't have to convince her that she should give me stuff. I called. She gave. That's how it works.

Little-thing update

I just had to write a quickie here about how one of my "little things" (see post below) happened.

Two days ago I felt prompted to "write notes of encouragement" -- so I went upstairs, dutifully and immediately, to retrieve my box of personal notecards and a pen. I just thought 'once I sit down, I'll know who to write to:' but nothing came to me, so I ditched it.

Then today, without knowing it, this 'notes of encouragement' thing happened afterall. Andrew and I were spending some time together during Luke's nap this morning. And, as we often do, we were doing an "art project." Andrew said he wanted to make something for a friend. So I asked him a series of questions (he was thinking of 2 friends: Alexis and David) and we ended up doing special art projects with special messages for each friend. It was so very sweet. And we will deliver each of them personally. I wrote EXACTLY what he told me to write. (David's said "I like to laugh with you. I'm so glad you're my friend." Alexis' is pictured here.)

Then I logged back onto my blog and thought oh my gosh we wrote notes of encouragement! And I think it was God IN Andrew that led us into fulfilling that prompting in me. How cool is that? I was all ready with my pen and paper but God had some other people in mind...some little people.

My "little" things

Lately I've felt like I keep getting ideas or promptings or creative inspirations to do little things. Here's a few examples:

• Invite the woman who cleans for us to Sunday dinner.
• Invite the girl down the street to come to the Museum Center with me and the boys.
• Send my uncle, who is recovering from cancer-related surgery, a care-package.
• Write notes of encouragement (and actually mail them!).
• Meet up a woman I know to just spend time talking about where she is with God.
• Email a woman I just met to reconnect and tell her how glad I was to meet her. (I'm going to do this one as soon as I post this!)

I've been feeling like I'm coming into a season where I can/should/will have the chance to reach out more to others and do at least a few other things beyond my family and home. And right now, it appears that it's this kind of stuff that's coming into my heart.

Whenever I see things like this coming up in my life, I think it's probably God behind it. We all have plenty of things we could fill our time with. But these ideas are things that I actually want to do, and it's a good thing - because they just keep coming to me.

Here's a few scriptures that came to mind as I'm considering these "little" things:

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:13-14

"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?....I will show you my faith by what I do." James 2:14...18

"Religion that our God accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

Feel free to ask me if I've followed through on each of them.

A Family Tradition - BFD

Breakfast For Dinner has become a family tradition. Our family (otherwise known as the Pattersons, Russells, Senffs, Valentines) does Breakfast for Dinner up in style.

Menu Featuring:

• DVals Cinnamon rolls!!!!
  
  
  
  
• Kelly's Biscuits and Gravy (Mary walked her through a 'thinning issue' with Corn Starch - a victory!)
  
• 
• Cheese grits
• 2 Different breakfast casseroles by Mary and Bill (Bill saves the day for Alli and pulls off his first-ever breakfast casserole...quite possibly better than any of mine!)
• Pancakes, Grapes, Yogurt and Blueberries for the kids.
• Homemade scones (by Mary of course)

Does it get any better than this? Maybe with Dora's wassail to top it off. (Next time!)

Carb-o-licious!

Women are beautiful

Last night I went to a gathering of women who wanted to talk about the Holy Spirit and worship together. It was great. There was teaching, singing, praying for one another, sharing stories and struggles and more prayer. In short, I saw how powerful it can be when women in the Body of Christ come together in community.

It is rare in my experience to attend a gathering of women-only when it isn't a bridal shower or baby shower. Although I think those are both fantastic celebrations of beauty, they certainly aren't usually a picture of the church in action.

I just wanted to share a few things that I loved about last night for you other women to consider:

1) The whole thing came about because my friend, Krissy, was obediant to something that she felt God was asking her to do. So she just did it. If I even think that God is maybe-kinda-sorta-suggesting something for me to do, then I'm going to be encouraged to just assume it's Him and go for it! You too.

2) Women are hungry for opportunities to build relationships with other women and be connected in the body. Women are not meant to function in isolation!!!!! (No one is, but especially not women). Isolation is a struggle of mine and most other women (especially young mothers) that I know. I'm here to proclaim that isolation is THE KEY tactic of Satan to weaken you and eventually bring you into some sort of darkness. If you (or any part of your life) is isolated from community who loves you and knows Jesus, then you must reach out to connect again. Even if it's just posting a comment here to say that.

I was just reading in 1 Peter this morning and it says this in 1 Pe 5:9: "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." And the footnote says "Lions attack sick, young or straggling animals; they choose victims who are alone or not alert. Being cut off from other believers is when we are especially vulnerable to attack." Do NOT stay by yourself.

3) The Holy Spirit really does speak to people, fill people and minister to people. Really. No matter how many times I see this, it never ceases to be amazing, encouraging and mysterious to me. Some of the things I saw in this vein that were in the room last night were:
a) Women powerfully praying for other women
b) Women being taught, fought-for and even rubuked or corrected by other women.
c) Women's voices coming together as, what I thought anyway, an instrument that must have sounded really beautiful to God. I used to say I preferred hearing men sing (the deep, powerful voices are nice), but last night I noticed the lightness and loveliness and unity of the women's voices.
d) Women prophesying to other women: this isn't weird (like it might sound) - it just means that there were many women there who were hearing the Holy Spirit telling them things and speaking those out to other women. This is really fun and faith-building. (read next)
e) Women's faith was being built. Several times I was asked to sit down and pray for someone that I didn't know or have any information about. I just took a moment, listened to God and then prayed. You're definitely out on a limb when you do that. I mean, seriously, you just go "ok God - you're going to have to say something here because I have no idea what to say!" The result for me? Taking little steps of faith like that was adding to my foundation of faith. This is something God is VERY interested in doing for all of us. Faith begets faith.

Anyway - these are some thoughts about what I saw, what I love about women. Sweet.

Puzzle pieces

I love scripture...anyone who knows me well might know that about me. And today was a great example of the reason why. I am praying for a friend who's hurting right now and just decided to look up some scripture around a relevant topic to see what popped up. So I did. And I wrote down a few. And that lead me to think of another one or two. And I wrote those down. And then later, as I considered them...I realized that God had led me to scripture that were building on one another; telling a story. A story about what His heart is for my friend and what He might want. And a story He told with His own words but through the leading of His Spirit in me.


Anytime we read scripture we give the Spirit ammunition to speak to us, lead us, etc. No - it doesn't always happen, but for me - it happens a LOT like this. Scripture comes alive into pieces of a puzzle...and I don't have to guess whether I'm hearing the words exactly right because He's using His Own Words. Awesome.

Try it. Pray for something/someone/yourself - look up (use your concordance or http://www.biblegateway.com/) some relevant scripture and see if you don't receive the pieces to a little puzzle.

Let me know here how it goes for you.

Judging...

I need a little reminder lately...of something I've needed reminding of in the past. I keep hearing God say in my spirit that I need to "stop judging what He gives me to do." Stop judging the things He puts before me each day. There are things He's doing in my heart through them and foundations of character and values being laid that I don't fully understand. So this post is for me - to remind myself of what I CAN see that He's done in the daily tasks that I'm so often prone to devaluing, thinking myself above or just poo-pooing.

Laundry: Since I've given myself over to doing all/most of the laundry in the house (a chore Bill used to do much of) I now see clothes more as a burden than anything else. I have aggressively given away clothes, bought WAY fewer and redefined what is "clean" (I can scrape that crusty white stuff off and wear this again!)

Trash: Since I'm home more, I care about our trash more. I HATE seeing all that trash and thinking about where it's all going to end up. It was bothering me that we were throwing away recyclables because we didn't have another bin. So I got another bin. And sometimes my mind will wander off into thoughts like "gee - if we all didn't buy our meat gutted, trimmed and marinated there would probably be WAY less styrofoam trash in the landfills." Or "What if I use that big jar of applesauce instead of all those little prepackaged ones?" Or "If we could just drink the water than runs out of tap instead of buying all those plastic bottles....."

Food: I throw away a LOT less food. I use our leftovers more and know better what quantities to buy. THIS has rung in my mind so many times from a 60Minutes/CNN/MSNBC (?) news report that we heard one evening: "The average American throws away an average of 1 pound of food per person, per day over the course of a year." Whoa. Could haphazardly throwing food away just because we don't feel like having it be an act of gluttony, ingratitude or something else?

Quality of food matters more to me too -- I'm still fine with a chicken fingers and french fry dinner every now and then, but I just find myself caring and thinking more about what I'm putting into our bodies. I've started buying real butter when a couple years ago that would have been unthinkable in favor of the no-fat-I Can't Believe it's Not Butter. It just started to bother me that it says right there in the name: IT'S NOT BUTTER. It's something else.

Dishes: I will find some redeeming value in dishes....someday.

This is for MY good. It is for my heart's good that I'm in a season of serving my family and serving Him in such mundane ways. To find Him and His heart in all these things is an act of worship for me. I'm not trying to be an environmentalist, minimalist or naturalist: I just find that the more I pay attention, the more God is showing me His heart for His Earth, His Body and His Values in all these small, daily tasks. If I would just stop judging them long enough to hear it.

My own, wacked definition of what's worth something is NOT the same as God's. So I'll take His and revolt against mine. I trust that if the things I am doing are not worthwhile to Him, He will guide me into a new place. I ask this of Him and remain open to hearing it.

The "Dad-Gift"

My dad started this a long time ago. It's called "the dad-gift" by me and my 2 brothers (John and Jim). My mom does most of the Christmas shopping, and she is a thoughtful, generous gift-giver. But one Christmas a long time ago (maybe 15 years or so I'd guess), my dad went out and bought the 3 of us kids a gift without telling my mom and produced them on Christmas morning. It was henceforth known as "the dad gift." And each year he continued. The gift is sometimes big, sometimes small, but always VERY anticipated. We all love it.

I think we love it just because it's from our dad. A dad just carries a unique love and a unique authority in the lives of his children. And these gifts essentially say to all of us "I love you. I know you. I want you to receive this as a piece of MY heart toward you."

This year, my dad bought us watches. Here's mine.

John got a watch as well, but my brother Jim received a Zen-alarm-clock. (No I don't know exactly what that is). But if you knew Jim, you'd know this was appropriate for him.

Matthew 7:11 says "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

I haven't worn a watch in at least 2 years. The batteries in both my watches died in the same week and I've just never replaced them. So my dad getting me a watch made me feel known - by either him or God or both at once.

Bill decided about a month before Christmas that he saw such love and goodness in "the dad gift" tradition in our family that he wanted to adopt it for our kids. So here are Andrew and Luke's first dad-gifts:

The dad-gifts that are around my house always remind me that my earthly dad knows and loves me. And it also reminds me that, if I ask, God has gifts in mind for me too.

Power or Love?

Happy New Year...part of me thought this should be a "new year" post just because it's New Year's Day. But it's just not what's on my mind. So Happy New Year and all that....now...

I think I have regularly wondered about (and been disappointed by) God choosing NOT to display His power in different situations. This could be to heal someone, to reveal Himself in a certain way, to soften someone's heart, to save a relationship - whatever. I really believe He can do these things. And I have sometimes blamed myself ("if I only had more faith or been more persistent in prayer, then maybe He'd have done it") and sometimes I've accused Him ("if you were kind, good, loving like you say you are, then why wouldn't you do this?").

The two situations I've been most troubled by are: 1) healing and 2) manifesting Himself in tangible ways through the Holy Spirit. I think both of these situations are me wanting physical proof of what I know to be a spiritual promise. I know God can heal. I know that God can reveal Himself however he chooses. So why WON'T He?

I have tried to talk myself into many different reasons for this confounding choice of God. I've tried to excuse Him. I've tried to blame myself. But really I'm not ok with it.

But I think I'm starting to understand something new. I was just reading a book (that I've actually read before!) called "Epic" did I come across something that has totally altered my understanding of this idea. The author actually quoted someone else's book called "Disappointment with God" (sounds like a book I should read!) and here's what it said:

"Power can do everything but the most important thing: it cannot control love....This fact may help explain why God sometimes seems shy to use his power. He created us to love him, but his most impressive displays of miracle - the kind we may secretly long for - do nothing to foster that love. God's problem is not that God is not able to do certain things. God's problem is that God loves. Love complicates the life of God as it complicates every life."

And yes, ok, I do secretly long for them. And I've blamed God for not doing this stuff. But it appears that perhaps all along He's saying to my heart - "just love me because I'm good and because I love you...not because I can DO something...but just because you choose to love me."

I've decided even in moments when I believe the lie God is weak or that He's holding out on me... I can still choose to love Him anyway. The truth is that God can do anything and He has power to heal, power to do miracles that I can't even fathom. But even when He doesn't do these things... I will choose to still love Him.