Power or Love?

Happy New Year...part of me thought this should be a "new year" post just because it's New Year's Day. But it's just not what's on my mind. So Happy New Year and all that....now...

I think I have regularly wondered about (and been disappointed by) God choosing NOT to display His power in different situations. This could be to heal someone, to reveal Himself in a certain way, to soften someone's heart, to save a relationship - whatever. I really believe He can do these things. And I have sometimes blamed myself ("if I only had more faith or been more persistent in prayer, then maybe He'd have done it") and sometimes I've accused Him ("if you were kind, good, loving like you say you are, then why wouldn't you do this?").

The two situations I've been most troubled by are: 1) healing and 2) manifesting Himself in tangible ways through the Holy Spirit. I think both of these situations are me wanting physical proof of what I know to be a spiritual promise. I know God can heal. I know that God can reveal Himself however he chooses. So why WON'T He?

I have tried to talk myself into many different reasons for this confounding choice of God. I've tried to excuse Him. I've tried to blame myself. But really I'm not ok with it.

But I think I'm starting to understand something new. I was just reading a book (that I've actually read before!) called "Epic" did I come across something that has totally altered my understanding of this idea. The author actually quoted someone else's book called "Disappointment with God" (sounds like a book I should read!) and here's what it said:

"Power can do everything but the most important thing: it cannot control love....This fact may help explain why God sometimes seems shy to use his power. He created us to love him, but his most impressive displays of miracle - the kind we may secretly long for - do nothing to foster that love. God's problem is not that God is not able to do certain things. God's problem is that God loves. Love complicates the life of God as it complicates every life."

And yes, ok, I do secretly long for them. And I've blamed God for not doing this stuff. But it appears that perhaps all along He's saying to my heart - "just love me because I'm good and because I love you...not because I can DO something...but just because you choose to love me."

I've decided even in moments when I believe the lie God is weak or that He's holding out on me... I can still choose to love Him anyway. The truth is that God can do anything and He has power to heal, power to do miracles that I can't even fathom. But even when He doesn't do these things... I will choose to still love Him.