Goin' off-course

I had 2 experiences this past Friday that really drove home to me about how strongly my human nature (i.e. my "flesh" according to the Bible) pulls on me AWAY from the opportunities that God extends to me for adventure in the Kingdom every day... here's what's happened to me this past week:

I was on the treadmill at the YMCA. I looked over my shoulder and saw a trainer named Teresa who works there. I hadn't seen her in almost a year. I'd never worked personally with her but I used to come at a time when she met her clients...so I'd overhear her and sometimes we'd even chat or exchange pleasantries. Eventually I blossomed into full pregnancy with Luke (making it more and more difficult to work out!) and she was SUCH an encouragement. She'd say "there's that mama -- doin' good things for her baby" or "do you know how much better your delivery will be because you're on that treadmill?!" or "man - you're hot for 35 weeks!" I had often wanted to thank her and bless her in that gift of encouragement. I just never saw her again. Until Friday.

But I was 7 minutes into my workout -- just starting to sweat. I thought to myself "she'll probably still be there in 30 minutes, I'll just talk to her then." But I felt God urging me to hit the stop button and do it NOW. I even sensed he was saying this was my last chance. (We actually are about to move gym memberships!) But I resisted for at least 3 more minutes...I kept saying that I deserved uninterrupted time on the treadmill...that this was MY time...that I'd find her some other day...that I just plain didn't feel like it.

Well - I did get off. I couldn't stand it anymore. I walked over, talked with her, told her I felt she had a gift and explained the ways it had blessed me. I know it mattered to her - I could see that. I felt good that I'd (eventually) obeyed. And as I got back onto the treadmill, I heard God telling me that it was my FLESH that was resisting.

Later that night I was driving home alone just as it was getting dark. I saw a young woman stick her thumb out on the side of the road. (Linwood Ave - an odd place to hitchhike!). Something just wasn't right there. So I immediately asked God if I should pick her up. I heard YES. And then 2 miles later I will still resisting -- "it's not safe" "I'll be late getting home" "Bill won't approve" "am I just crazy here?" "that wasn't God!"

So I turned around and went back for her.

Ohmigosh!! As I'm writing this I am realizing that her name was also Teresa. Weird. I just left this post for a minute to look up the name meaning...it means "Harvester." Any thoughts?

So anyway -- she thanked me many times and we ended up having a conversation about her ex-husband (who happens to live in my neighborhood!). I told her that the Lord is ALWAYS for our marriages. And I told her that He is watching out for her because He told me to come back and get her. She seemed quiet after that and told me that she keeps getting "signs" to go back over to Anderson. I don't know if she meant her marriage or not but I felt that was what she was saying.

As I processed both this things I simply felt that God was pointing me to my flesh. My flesh is what I keep hearing. I want these so-called adventures-with-Jesus but I'm in my own way. My flesh desires to keep the status quo - to stay-the-course, to get what I "need" or want in the moment, to be selfish or simply to lack a presence of mind...and most of all - my flesh hates to be interrupted and taken off-course.

I'm not that interruptible sometimes. I want to be, but I tend to go back towards my schedule, my needs, my workout, my, my, my, my, my....

I never linked that to the feeling that I sometimes have of just trudging through one day upon the next and wondering where the heck is my adventure with God.

Friday woke me up to a whole new season of being interrupted. And being excited about it.